How do I get my 10 year old son to be respectful and polite?
He had better manners as a two year old! We tangle everyday on these issues. We would like to assume he is not the typical spoiled only child but it painstakingly appears that way sometimes. He’s always been on the shy side and I’ve told him that he has to be mindful of this and consciously make a point to overcome this. I told him that he is at the age now where the shyness thing isn’t going to fly; that people are now just seeing him as being rude when he doesn’t say thank you or speak up when being spoken to. During the school year, it’s not as bad as summer break. He is starting to “pop off at the mouth”, also, but says he is kidding around and that people take him wrong. I try to tell him that he has to make sure people know he is joking (laughing, smiling, saying “just kidding”, etc.) Can anyone put their 2 cents worth in? (Teachers maybe!)
BTW: This is frustrating for his Dad and I b/c he has always been complimented on his manners since, like I said b4, he was 2 years old!
Of course a two year old has great manners, they repeat everything they see and hear and want to please mommy and daddy by being just like them. Your 10 year old is shy and must find his own way around that. If joking is what makes him comfortable that is the best way for him right now. Don’t worry so much what others think of his manners, they are not what determines who he is and as others get to know him they will see past the shyness that comes off as rude. You don’t need to apolagize for his words, he is old enough to know when he is out of line and can apolagize for himself. And if you coax his answers (’say thank you please’… ‘this gentelmen asked you a question’…) you will embarrass him causing him to be more shy. Let him be and teach by example.